It's hard to believe that our feelings and the logic of the relationship in a couple are genetically programmed. The behavior characteristic of lovers has developed over millions of years of evolution. Our distant ancestors just did not have time for romance, the main goal was to survive and continue their family line.
It was this need that made people stay together because it was difficult to protect children alone, get food for them and, at the same time, protect them and oneself from predators. However, the man and the Ukrainian woman needed something else that would make them be together.
It is possible to say that this is how the chemistry between people came into being. Thanks to this feeling, two adults were able to admire each other, and this feeling was so great that they wanted to live together and suffered when one of them left. The chemical processes that occurred in the brain as if blinded them, and they did not notice the shortcomings of each other, felt the integrity and completeness, and they were emotionally depended on the partner.
The power of this feeling allowed the couple to stay together for the survival of the children, and about three years later, when they grew up and could do much on their own, this feeling died out. One parent was enough for survival now. Why is it necessary to stay together if the task of procreation is completed? Such a question is quite logical from the evolutionary point of view.
Defining the phenomenon of chemistry between people
What is chemistry between two people? The chemistry between two people means sudden falling in love. The state of being in love is similar to stress. Your heart's racing, your palms sweat, you feel euphoria and have the bloom in the cheek, your knees weaken, you have a poor appetite and lack of sleep, all your thoughts and actions are directed toward the object of pleasure. If such chemistry between two people lasts too long, you feel exhausted, and you can literally go mad with love.
There are three possible options of arising chemistry between a man and a woman. First, you feel affection, then there is a romantic love and only after it, it’s time for the sexual chemistry between two people. Or you can meet someone who seems to you sexually attractive, you fall in love with them and only then you feel a deep affection. Or there is the third option when you can suddenly fall in love, literally lose your head over someone with whom you had sex a long time ago, but earlier you didn't feel that strong chemistry between two people.
What causes chemistry between two people?
Physical attraction has a direct connection with chemistry because you like certain kind of people due to chemical processes. During one of the experiments, scientists have examined the brain activity of more than 70 couples who were deeply and passionately in love. It turned out that when a person reflects on the beloved one or have an eye contact with them, a small part of the brain is primarily activated, and dopamine, that is a natural enabler, is produced. It is a reason for energy surge, inspiration, emotional uplift, passion as well as obsession, the feelings that are more likely for sexual pleasure.
It is believed that this section of the brain starts working actively when you see a person who ideally suits for mating, and this person is not necessarily the most amazing and well-educated. This section of the brain is one of the oldest, and it acts the same way as in animals, it allocates an appropriate partner and causes sexual attraction to conceive the future offspring in the nearest future.
It does not matter whether you need to find a good job, to buy a car or to build a house. The newer areas of the brain, as well as the norms of behavior that have been learned in the process of upbringing, do not let the instincts get the better of you. These new areas of the brain make you choose smart partners, those who have necessary relations, and etc. Nonetheless, the chemistry between people makes them perform irrational acts.
Why do people stop being in love?
At the first stage of the relationship, when there is sexual desire, the main role is played by sex hormones and pheromones that give birth to affection and passion. At the second stage of love, neurotransmitters and endorphins have a special power, giving birth to feelings of happiness and joy of love. When love reaches the stage of attachment, vasopressin and oxytocin dominate, and the lovers become truly close.
However, why do people who have got through the bright phase of love, mope about it later? If you do not support passion and interest in each other, love can disappear. You lose a certain number of chemicals, and your feelings become boring and routine.
Signs of a chemistry between a man and a woman
Everyone knows that a big part of people considers chemistry to be of crucial importance. If you are one of these people, you should know the main signs of chemistry between a man and a woman.
1. You feel something like anxiety on the day of the meeting. How to tell if there's chemistry between two people? So many studies have already confirmed that if you are extremely restless on the day of a date, this means that you are not indifferent to a person. The truth is that the explication of your increased fussiness means that you feel an excess of energy, and you need just to express it through physical activity. Does your partner feel the same or not? Are they also cheery and unusually mobile? This is an encouraging sign and one of the characteristics of good chemistry between two people.
2. Your voices change a little. Your voice can tell much about the feelings. So, if you begin to speak in a deeper and more sonorous voice, and they support your manner, you should know that there is a physical attraction. You are attractive to them, and they copy your voice unconsciously.
3. You are able to notice even the tiny details. If you ask yourself, “Is there chemistry between us?” then remember whether you notice even the tiny details in your partner or not. When you feel attraction to your partner, the level of dopamine in your body increases, and you begin to pay attention even to the tiny details. That's why you can see the moles or pimples on the face of your partner. If you see that they are also looking at you, and they have unusually sharp eyesight, this means that there is a strong chemistry.
4. You make a compromise more easily. According to experts, when you feel a strong attraction, it is easier for you to compromise. If you have already had the first date with a partner, look at yourself and understand whether you are ready to sacrifice your principles. Analyze their and your actions to see your behavior and willingness to change yourselves.
5. You have magnetic visual contact. If you were able to maintain eye contact during the meeting, it means that a clear signal of love to your partner is much more important than modesty. Such an eye contact is one of the obvious signs of attraction and chemistry between men and women. Watch them, maybe they also do not want to look at anything but you.
6. You have a feeling that you know each other already. The strong chemistry between a man and a woman that has arisen somewhere deep inside them will give them an unreal feeling that they have known each other for many years. Often, people look for certain features in their partners to feel comfortable and cozy. Therefore, if you are relaxed and cheerful with a partner, this means that you have achieved mutual understanding.
7. You smile a lot. Can other people see the chemistry between two people? Yes, they can. For example, if you see two people who have a strong visual contact and who smile at each other a lot, there is the chemistry between them. The reason is simple. When people are happy, they are smiling, and this is a natural reaction. Even the shyest introverts will smile and enjoy communication.
8. You feel sexual attraction. People are genetically inclined to seek a partner who has physical attractiveness. In the end, people are also an animal species, seeking to reproduce. Strong sexual magnetism is a typical signal about the presence of chemistry, although it can be present to a small extent even in the friendly relationships.
9. You have spiritual communication. Although, sometimes, you cannot understand why you feel a special spiritual connection with someone, nevertheless, it does exist. You catch each other's thoughts and finish each other’s sentences. It is ordinary chemistry.
10. You have the same sense of humor. You can have just a perfect relationship with a person who has a similar sense of humor, and with whom you are on the same page. In addition, common humor enhances feelings even if you are just friends. Most people with a similar sense of humor can also think alike.
11. You reflect each other. This is a behavioral model when one person subconsciously imitates the gestures, speech or manner of another person’s behavior. All people participate in such a reflection, and it doesn’t matter whether you realize that or not. If you have a physical or emotional attraction to someone, you immediately begin to reflect the partner.
12. You feel instant comfort. Such a sensation is a powerful sign of chemistry. When you meet someone for the first time, your natural reaction is to strain a little. You use a formal language and are slightly nervous. For some strange reason, an absolute sense of comfort can immediately arise between some people.
13. You want to have a physical contact. A flirty touch as if by accident is almost universal sign of chemistry. Men and women like to use this behavior to understand the response. When this game is enjoyable for both, it speaks volumes.
14. You want to meet and communicate. If you have an incredible desire to meet them again and look forward to your next date (and your partner feels the same), then you have fallen in love with a person.
If there is something more than just a chemistry between people?
Manufacturers produce perfumes with pheromones, which kindle sexual desire. Female pheromones are designed to attract the attention of a man to a woman, and male pheromones attract female attention. However, every person has such "perfume" always with them. To smell attractive, it is enough to watch your health and not to forget about hygiene and proper nutrition.
Not all relationships end in three years. Not all couples have children in the first years of a joint life. People are able to love each other after losing sexual attractiveness when the passion subsides and the reproductive function decreases. Maybe, love is not just chemistry, but the true magic? Without understanding the complexities of the chemistry of love, everyone can become an alchemist and work hard to maintain the relationship.
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