Relationships are always a lot of work. When you stack up problems, avoiding confrontation and honest talk, sometimes these little issues get your life clogged up. Especially if you live together, the routine can take a toll on romance. Don’t worry, there will be times in your couple when you need to take a break in the relationship. Take a deep breath. Think about your relationship with a clear mind. Can it be saved? Are you just tired of each other?
This article will be a reminder that taking a break from a relationship does not mean ruining your connection, and it can be beneficial as long as this is a union between two adults. You will also recognize the signs of moving too fast in relationships and learn how to deal with it.
Why a relationship break is not a breakup
Couples often ask, “Should I take a break from my relationship? What if my partner leaves or decides that I don’t want them back?” It is a destructive thought that shouldn’t be present in your mind. First of all, a break should be a mutual decision. Of course, if one of you decides to take a break while the other feels attachment and longs for connection, they will end up feeling resentment towards you.
When dealing with a temporary break, two people from the union should understand that these are the necessary measures. Without it, your relationship may crumble into pieces because you feel too tired of each other.
People who want to mend their connection will get back no matter what. So if you are afraid that your partner disappears for good, it all comes down to trust issues. Again, a break can be the case only if we’re talking about two adults who don’t act like a child whose favorite toy was taken away. What does taking a break mean in a relationship and how to do it right? Does taking a break from a relationship help? These questions will be answered within the next few passages.
How to Understand If You Need to Take a Break in Relationships?
Understanding the question, “Is taking a break in a relationship good?” should come from within. These problems usually make your relationship so heated, there’s no way you can ignore these issues, pretending nothing happened. It will be clear from a side view that your relationship needs some revamping. However, if you are bad at picking sides and being in other peoples’ shoes, unable to see a picture clear, here are some universal signs your single women dating has gone wrong and needs resuscitation.
1. Anything your partner does irritates you
When people spend too much time together, there is no room for magic. Usually, the longer you live together in an atmosphere of absolute boredom, the more things you will find irritating about your partner. Do they always leave dirty dishes in the sink? Does their breath smell terribly in the morning? Maybe they sing in the shower? Yes, some things can objectively get on your nerves. But just think about that: you received your partner perfectly identical to what they are now. My question is, what happened to you in these years?
2. You start lusting for other people
If your sexual life hasn’t been that good, there is a chance you are getting colder towards each other. But things like that can usually be sorted out with the help of some roleplay and toys. Okay, what if you still long for other people’s attention? Is this desire for warmth physical or emotional? Do you lack sex or is it just thirsty for human platonic connection? Now it’s time to see what exactly you miss in your partner. Now it’s time to see THEM as a forbidden fruit.
3. You quarrel all the time
Bickering is normal for every family. But what if your aggression becomes so severe, friends and random people around start noticing and getting uncomfortable because of your presence. Have you ever been “that couple”? If you are getting scared of your reaction, it’s time to get down to the root of the problem. What is the inner conflict you are trying to outcry, projecting your fears onto your partner?
4. You’ve come to a crossroad
It seems like both of you are following your path. Do these paths cross or move in different directions? Do you ever realize that you don’t see a common future for your couple? Do you have lessons that you need to learn on your own, some conflicts that need to be addressed urgently? If so, attending your trauma may become a priority. Once you are together, you always seem to pay attention to your partner’s needs but not to your own. Maybe it’s time to level yourself up at first?
5. You’re moving at a different pace
Some people learn their lessons quicker, others do it slower. Some of us mature early, others stay kids till their deathbed. What makes a couple feel whole? Unity. Striving for one goal. Being a strong team. If one of you leaps two steps at a time, but the other always seems to limp towards your common goal, maybe they don’t want it as much as you do? Maybe they have a different priority at this time?
How to Take a Break From Relationships: a Step-By-Step Guide
Taking a break from a relationship to find yourself should be a conscious step. It’s always a mini-death because you should know that you might not want to go back to this relationship after some realizations. Your goal as a partner is to make this request as ethical as possible not to cause trauma of abandonment to your beloved one.
1. Have a talk
Some people think that taking a break in a relationship starts with ghosting your partner. And while you started your spiritual awakening, your other half may not even know you have some weird plans for your relationship. Have a seat and open up about your problems. Say something along those lines, “Listen, I love you so much and I care about your feelings. But at this point, I need to attend some internal issues that can’t be addressed in a relationship. I would appreciate it if we could spend some time alone to get to know ourselves and return as better people. It is by no means an attempt to break up with you. I do it because of my desire to improve. Sometimes, to grow together means growing as separate human beings first.”
2. Promise your loyalty
The only thing partners are afraid of when having a relationship break is a total loss of control. What if they just want an excuse to hang out with friends in my absence? What if they cheat on me while we are on a break? Calm your partner down. Talk about things you can and can’t do on a break. Don’t break those promises and compromise their trust if this person is dear to your heart.
3. Spend this time wisely
If you take a break from your relationship, it doesn’t mean it’s time to drink with your friends or have sex on a side. Use this time in solitude. Consider how these relationships have changed you. Are you a better or a worse person now? Did this union bring you confidence or confusion? Does your partner make you successful or look down on your victories? Do you feel safer once they are not around? Inspect your mood changes thoroughly. During a break, track down your emotions. Do you feel better as a single person or think about your partner every second? Do you smile or cry more? Every mood swing can be the answer to whether you need to return.
4. Maintain no contact
There are no specific “taking a break in a relationship” rules. But what’s the point in taking a break if you still text each other every day? Only by detaching yourself from your partner, you will understand how easy or hard your life gets with or without them. Don’t call them, text them “good morning,” like their photos or even ask them about life. Hold a social experiment and feel this void inside your heart. Let fear occupy you for a while.
5. Imagine you’ve broken up for good
Yes, it sounds masochistic, but only by experiencing this micro cardiac arrest, you will get the whole picture. Do you miss them? Do their small annoying rituals still irritate you once you imagine you’ll never hear or see them again? Does it bring you sorrow or relief? Or are you already looking in someone’s direction? Be honest with yourself.
What Not to Do When Taking a Break From a Relationship?
Can taking a break from a relationship help? Of course, if you don’t break the rules of taking breaks. Here are the things you shouldn't do if you want to save your relationship.
1. Maintaining contact. The main wrong thing every overly attached couple does is to spy on each other even if your break is not for good. With that, you will only waste your time and feel traumatized and forgotten. To make this work, do some introspection and concentrate on your current situation.
2. Making them jealous. Some partners choose this tactic: once they get a feeling of being single, they immediately want to play with their lover’s feelings, like, “See, this is how elusive I am. I might consider leaving as well. I can be out any second. Think twice or you’ll lose your price.” What you are doing is creating unnecessary baggage and growing fear that you can betray their trust. Your break is not a good time to take Instagram photos with strangers to make your partner scared of losing you. At most, it’s pathetic and childish.
3. Wasting time. The time you spend in solitude should be sacred. You need to establish your borders, come up with a life goal, take up meditation, starting reading, finding hobbies. Crying your eyes out and texting them how much they miss you will work in the short term. Once you miss each other, the honeymoon phase will feel just perfect. Unfortunately, problems won’t go away unless you address them alone.
Now you know how to take a break from relationships. Do you dare to ask your partner for this experiment? Would you consider it a break-up? Do you think that once you off your vacation, you’ll never be the same? Talk out to your partner about everything that concerns you and stay happy.
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