There are people who go through long relationships that last for years but don't end in marriage. There are plenty of reasons why it doesn't, even if the couple really loves each other, but there comes a point where you're just wasting each other's time. Breaking up a long-term relationship isn't easy, but it's even harder to stay with someone and hope that things will change.
A happy ending is an obligatory attribute of children's fairy tales, but in life, everything is much more prosaic. We often find ourselves held hostage by our love stories. And we must simply learn to end difficult and difficult relationships in time with minimal losses for both partners. Let's talk about how to break up from a long term relationship in this article.
How to leave a long term relationship: top tips
How to move on from a long term relationship: Tip#1
Recognizing the problem is the first step toward solving it
Don't think that you are unique and the first to face this kind of problem. From time to time many of us find ourselves held hostage by our own relationships. Relationships begin to press like a heavy stone and do not allow you to breathe freely. Sometimes you want to get rid of this oppression, stop breaking the wings of yourself and your partner, and finally, start living alone.
And yes, there is nothing wrong with the fact that your love startup did not fly. Find the strength to admit it so you can move on. In love, just like in business, there are failures.
Of course, there are some signals that the Rubicon has been crossed and it is time to end the love story. Analyze your relationship, and deal with yourself and your desires. And make a decision.
The longer we turn to memories and think about the past (that is, we think about what no longer exists and will not happen), the further we push away the real prospects for a happy future. Besides, if everything in your relationship were really smooth and perfect, you wouldn't be reading this article right now, would you?
Don't procrastinate: better now than later.
The perfect moment for a breakup won't come; don't get your hopes up. There is never a perfect time for anything in life. If things are really bad, the rule of thumb is, "The sooner, the better.
How to move on from a long term relationship: what not to do
A story from real life. I have a very smart and very handsome friend who dated an equally smart and handsome guy for several years. The guys could have easily starred in any American movie about couples in love, where all the characters and, of course, their relationship is perfect.
One day this guy was going to his friend's house for a bachelor party. It was no surprise, and no one was against a weekend away with friends.
The young man kissed his friend before he left and promised to miss her very much, and already from the cab to the airport he texted her to look in the closet for "something." Nothing foretold trouble, and the girl happily assumed that she had been given a nice surprise.
It was indeed not without a surprise. Waiting in the closet was a discreet letter, in which the guy coldly announced that he had fallen out of love and that it was all over. He told the now ex-girlfriend to move all his stuff out before he returned. And yes, he had already asked a friend to feed the cat.
How to break off a long-term relationship: psychologists' opinion
A breakup is not always accusations, tantrums, and a plate fight. Sometimes it happens that after living with a person for many years, you suddenly realize that you fell in love with someone else. From this no one is immune.
But often the previous relationship does not allow us to step toward their fate. After all, this means that we will go through a difficult period of uncertainty - who knows if you can find happiness with the new favorite, or if this novel will turn into a solid disappointment? Besides, some people will have to change their daily habits, and some will have to get used to other people's children. In a word, go out of your comfort zone.
Keep all these worries to yourself. If your passion has cooled, but the soul is still warm to your partner, do not torment him, and do not force him to become a party to your inner conflict. Do not seek advice from friends and relatives, no one to the end will not understand what is happening in your soul and what pushes you to leave. The answer you have is to find yourself, but if the decision is not made in his favor - do not drag with the departure.
How to gently break up a long term relationship: what to consider
1. Tell us about your marriage and relationship
Some couples assume that because they have been together a long time, they can anticipate each other's thoughts. This assumption is almost always wrong. Communicate with each other and talk about your relationship.
2. Can you easily share your assets?
Couples in long-term relationships, especially roommates, may have invested in physical assets together. This may include their home, cars, financial instruments, and other tangible assets, which may require a long and messy procedure to separate.
3. Do you have children or pets?
Unlike material possessions, pets and young children are indivisible. Are you willing to put your life on the line to separate from your partner?
How to deal with a long term relationship ending?
Breaking up is always hard. It's hard when someone you love leaves you. It is just as sad if you feel you have to leave the person who loves you. In such a situation, the most important thing is to act in stages.
Step one: become aware of what is happening. Let a new spiral of your life begin. Start building a new world on the wreckage of the old one. But to assemble the new world, first, let us assemble ourselves. Do you know that state when you feel like you've been shattered? You feel tired, even if you haven't done anything. And no matter how hard you try to fill the inner emptiness - with food, alcohol, or something else - it gives only temporary relief. The feeling of brokenness comes from the workings of our emotions and thoughts because the body is directly connected to them. We suffer physically from overwhelming emotions that are the result of our thoughts. So let's turn to the cause of our condition: thoughts.
Step Two: Get your mind in order. The practice of meditation will help us do this. It will teach us how to manage our thoughts by observing them. We will learn at any time to turn off the internal dialogue, to switch thoughts from negative to positive, and calm the mind.
Step three: deal with the emotions. Talk to anyone who is willing to listen to you. If there's no one to talk to, talk out loud to yourself. After all, who better to be friends with than us? Don't blame yourself or him. Forgive yourself and him. This is a very important moment. Write it all down on a piece of paper, read it again, burn it, and blow it in the wind. This will fix your intention to part with the past once and for all.
Step four: Cleanse your body. Once you have your thoughts and emotions in order, this will not be difficult. Harmony in all parts of the whole is very important. So you have to deal not only with your thoughts and feelings but also with your body. But first, let's take another opportunity to transform the negative into the positive. Let's take advantage of a difficult period in life to look better. It's a well-known fact that stress is rejuvenating (as long as it's not prolonged in time and controlled by us, of course). And do not forget, our body is controlled by our emotions and thoughts, so the desire for extra food may not come from the body at all. Awareness of this will help to cope with nervous overeating. Drink plenty of clean water. Eat light and beautiful food - get the benefits of food and a pleasant feeling from its appearance. And if you've lost your appetite completely, use this period as an opportunity to lose a few pounds. And always remember that it's all temporary and only depends on you.
In conclusion, everything is in our hands and everything depends only on us. No one but you can control you. You are the conductor of the orchestra of your life. So hurry up and pull yourself together, and go forward into the future!
We wish you happiness!
Add Comment