On the one hand, the prospect of a first date fills us with a joyful sense of great opportunity. On the other hand, it inspires concern. Many of us can recall a meeting with a new acquaintance, who made a vivid impression at first but after a while, it turned out that it was deceiving. Psychologists identify several signs by which we can better understand whether a person is sincere and whether the date went well. Normal communication after the first date means that two people contacted each other and agreed on a future meeting. How to do it properly and what tips are there concerning live dates for someone who knows just how to meet ladies online?

what to do after a first date

Your Actions After a First Date Actually Matter

Even if everything went wrong as you had planned, in no case you should show your displeasure. Take the girl home and not just get her a taxi. This will show that you are caring and worry about her.

If the date went great, then in the evening you should write a neutral message, for example, with a good night wish. However, the next day, you shouldn't rush to wish her good morning. Most likely, she will write to you first. If the girl neither called you nor wrote first, then wait until the evening when she will be free from studies or work. Many guys spoil their first impressions when they start calling in the daytime when a girl is busy at work. If she does not pick up the phone, then they call her every half hour. Even intending to start dating someone out of your league you should hold your head high and have a feeling of your own importance.

Things to Analyze After the First Date

If you wonder what to do after a first date, you can try to recall the moments from a meeting and think over how to act next. Here are things to consider before you write any after first date text.

How sincere she was? Of course, meeting with an outspoken silent person is not a pleasure. However, studies show that excessive frankness at the very beginning of a relationship may turn out to be a warning “red flag.”

Insecure people tend to share information extensively at the first meeting and are generally talkative. Such behavior is sometimes considered by the interlocutor as openness and honesty on their part, but often this is not so. These people are mainly focused only on themselves, their needs, and your world is not so dear and interesting to them.

At the same time, people who are disturbing in nature may at some point seem more substantial and deeper, their stories seem to us more dramatic. Even if there is no contact after the first date, we will understand their choice. However, this is only at the beginning of dating. When relations arise between people, this constant internal anxiety of a partner can be destructive for relations and difficult to accept.

normal communication after first dateDid you have enough fun? We tend to fall under the charm of people with a sense of humor. The jokes raise the mood, and laughter creates a sense of unity. Many women, preparing for a date, are often afraid to meet a person who is frankly dangerous or inadequate. Therefore, they respond to humor as an indicator of the mind and flexibility of the position and especially appreciate the self-irony, which is characteristic, as a rule, only for mentally healthy people.

However, an abundance of jokes sometimes hides extremely insecure people who, for one reason or another, find it difficult to build close relationships. And they use their wit to create the illusion of trust. Pay attention whether a brilliant sense of humor distracts you from the person themselves. A self-confident person who is attuned to relationships is not inclined to such behavior at the first meetings. It is more typical for those who want to convince both the partner and themselves that their relationships have a future.

Was there chemistry? It is interesting that at the very beginning, the meeting of two opposites works to develop relations, but in the future, such a constitutional difference in personalities can alienate people from each other. One of the after first date tips is to remember whether there is a lot in common between you. Researchers note that when a person is silent, this does not bother the interlocutor. On the contrary, such a person will be treated as a good and attentive listener, which in turn is associated with kindness and reliability.

They start a relationship because they see their unrealized potential in the partner. Therefore, the fact that we are aware of how different we are from our partners does not harm the union. The reason for the gap is the unwillingness to put up with the differences, which we call incompatibility. In fact, often this is the inability to cope with their own problems. Love alone can perceive differences as an opportunity and not as negative fatality.

How was the conversation? Was she interested? If you felt good in the company of a person, then psychologists say that you should not worry about the success of a date. Most likely, the interlocutor also felt fine. Comfort means that you did not feel awkward during silence, there was a feeling that you were on the same vibe. When we feel relaxed, time flies very quickly. If you do not have time to turn around, as the clock hands are already showing not 8, but 12, then they will definitely call you a second time.

From the point of view of psychology, this is direct evidence that you are interested in further communication. The person was genuinely interested in you, which means that a second date is just around the corner.

This is quite obvious because a person will not ask questions to which they do not want to hear answers. Many ladies ask what the frequency of questions is, but there is no single answer. It all depends on how fast is the pace of the conversation. How did your first date end? To take a girl home is a very nice gesture. Getting a taxi and staying distant without even clearing things out may tell a girl you did not enjoy the meeting, be careful with that. Sometimes men take girls home with the hope that the lady will invite to come in. Not everyone wants to receive an invitation for a visit at the first meeting, but many really would not refuse.

Another good sign is if the lady did not want to leave. This is one of the most important things. If she tried to extend the date, did not want to let you go, then there can be no questions, she is absolutely crazy about you. Not only women but all people as a whole tend to leave a place where they are not comfortable. If she glances at her watch, then you may have problems. Sometimes a person really needs to keep track of time, but in such situations, she warns right away that she needs to go somewhere after a date.

After the First Date Tips

Let’s shed light on what to do after the first date and which things to avoid not to seem too obtrusive or silly. Sometimes less is more, but if you take considering and analyzing too long, the girl may think she did not interest you.

"Here we will put the table!"

So, the first mistake is the excessive expectations that we have on the first date. As a rule, women commit this sin, but men tend to do so too. At that moment, when the partner has not decided anything, they do not even know whether they want to meet with you again or what to say after the first date, you are already planning your life together and decide how you will name common children and what school they will go to. what to do after a first dateIn other words, you give a partner your own aspirations and put your expectations from this meeting on them.

Deciding something for someone is an undeniable mistake in a relationship, and especially on a first date. It disturbs not so much you or the girl who came to you on a date, but the very relationships that you begin to develop in a pattern. And life does not tolerate patterns, it is much more interesting and diverse than we can imagine even in our wildest fantasies. Therefore, you need to control your expectations in general and on your first date in particular.

Take it easy

The second mistake, on the contrary, lies in excessive control over the situation. It is most often committed by people with so-called negative experiences. They always wait for troubles from life, and it seems to them that the more diligently they control what is happening, the easier it will be for them to avoid these troubles.

In fact, all this is nonsense since there is no negative experience. There is simply an experience that is not negative or positive because it is not an electric charge. To avoid mistakes in the future, conclusions must be drawn from it. And, as soon as you made them, you do not reproach yourself. If you feel that you are ready to meet someone because your negative past still hurts, behave decently: smile, respond to jokes.

And how long to wait after the first date for the second date? It depends on your feelings, just follow the reaction of a girl, and you will understand her signs or when she gives you green light.

Why don’t you call me?

There is a great risk of making a mistake if, after the first date, you want to meet this person again, but for some reason, they do not call you. Of course, you are a man, and the girl may expect you to do the first step, but what if you have already contacted her and faced ignorance?

What to do in such a situation? The answer is unequivocal, try once more, maybe this is what she wants. Even the ancient Chinese knew that every unfulfilled desire corrupts us from within. And while you wait for her to call back, destructive processes occur inside you, and their consequences are difficult to even predict.

The worst that can happen to you, as a result, is the understanding that this person does not want to communicate with you for some reason. It can be not very pleasant to find out about this, but a negative result is also a result, which means you will stop suffering and wasting time and energy in vain.

Why does the girl ignore SMS and calls?

Now the reasons for this behavior can be very different. To find out the exact reason, you must first remember whether the girl had a lack of interest during a date. If a girl answered a kiss, was active and showed sympathy, she probably didn’t answer calls for reasons that weren’t related to you. In addition to the phone, it is worth trying other communication methods. For example, social networks. It is worth writing to a girl, or unexpectedly meeting her after work to understand the causes of behavior. It is possible that she is waiting for such a bright and unexpected act.

Or there is a likelihood that the girl decided not to continue the relationship, but she is embarrassed to say so directly. Here you can jokingly ask her, "If you do not want to communicate with me, say so. I will accept everything.” If many attempts were made to meet, but the girl avoids communication anyway, then she really decided not to maintain a relationship.

Behavioral strategies if the girl did not impress you

You can try several options if the girl did not like you, and you need to correctly hint on it.

  • what to say after first dateDisappearance. You can simply no longer call and write to the lady, especially if she behaved incorrectly on the first date. Or if you found out about something unpleasant, for example, that a girl lied about her habits or her appearance when meeting through the Internet.
  • Ignoring. Decisive girls can begin to win a guy over, and it is important to ignore these attempts. What to do after the first date in such a situation? It is better to just gently talk to her about it.
  • Dialogue. This is the best option for ending a relationship when a man openly explains to a girl about a lack of sympathy. It is likely that you can even remain friends.

What and When to Text After the First Date?

Even self-confident girls can traditionally believe that a man should take the first step to develop a relationship and think about what to text after the first date. If he does not show signs of attention, then the girl did not interest him, and it is hardly worth expecting the next meeting.

In this regard, if the date was successful, and you plan further relations, you should write a text or call with thanks for the time spent after the date. It is not necessary to immediately set the date for the next date - the lady also needs to think over the last meeting, analyze her emotions and feelings. It is best to let the girl know that you will call her tomorrow. This will be an indicator of sympathy for her and your good nature. And the next day you really need to make a call so as not to spoil the first impression.

When to text after the first date doesn’t matter as much as what you write. Do not forget to start the conversation with a nice compliment, this will be a good habit in a relationship.

Examples of texts to the girl after the first date:

  • In search of pleasant words for the girl, it is best to choose the opportunity to remember the pleasant moments of your date. This will allow the girl to recall it brighter, she will think about the previous meeting and will probably begin to look forward to the next one.
  • You can send short, unobtrusive text. For example, "You are charming," "Thank you for a wonderful evening/day," "How did you get home?" "Sweet dreams!" "Have a calm night!” It is undesirable to write that you already miss her so much or tell about fiery feelings.
  • The next morning/day, after a pause, you can write something more detailed. Ask her opinion about yesterday's film/performance/ music show, etc. Or make an original complement about her beautiful smile, bottomless eyes, gentle laughter, ability to communicate, confidence, etc.
  • A thank you text after the first date is always a good idea.

Sometimes lack of knowledge of how to behave after the first date with a girl makes both you and her worry. Especially if she has touched your soul. But remember that if there is a connection between the two of you, she expects you to take the next step and cares no less. The worst that awaits you, as a result, is the understanding that this person does not want to communicate with you. It may be not very pleasant to find out about this, but you will stop suffering and wasting time and energy in vain.

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