Important Facts About the Honeymoon Phase
You know that period when your relationship has just started? You never argue, you smile when you see each other. You care for your significant other as much as you care for yourself. It feels that nothing, except death, will ever do you part. That's what the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase is considered the stage of a relationship when you are actually in love. So, you are in love and that's all. What else is there to talk about? While it may seem that everything is crystal clear, there are a few important facts you need to know.
1. It Ends
All good things come to an end, and your honeymoon stage of a relationship is no exception. And you need to be ready for it, as otherwise, your relationship can end with that phase. The end of the honeymoon phase doesn't mean the end of love. Just after a certain period, your mutual passion begins to decline. And you need to be ready to cope with it, otherwise, your relationship could fail.
2. You Are Going to Get Nervous
If you are not prepared that your honeymoon phase is just a phase, you are going to get very nervous. You are going to think what to do next to make each of your dates fancier. You may get the feeling that your partner doesn't want you anymore. You may get paranoid and start thinking that your partner is cheating on you. Another option is wasting money on a shrink who would tell you that there is no need to worry because it is just the end of your honeymoon phase. So, you would only save your time and money if you just acknowledge that's nothing more than an end of the phase.
3. You Should Enjoy It
Even knowing that it is going to end, you need to enjoy it. Like, you know that your life is going to end sooner or later, but it doesn't mean that you should stop enjoying your life and do nothing except expecting your death to come. Same goes for your honeymoon phase, you know it's going to end, but you should enjoy. And not because it's the only time you're going to feel complete love. Certain couples experience a few splashes of this “in love” feeling throughout their relationship. Enjoying the honeymoon phase will help you enjoy all the phases of your relationship.
How Long Does the Honeymoon Phase Last?
Okay, now we've figured out that the honeymoon ends, but when exactly? When does the honeymoon phase end? Is it a year? Is it a month? Is it a few months? Does honeymoon phase have any specific length? There is no specific length, but, generally, the honeymoon phase lasts from a few months to a year. There are three popular explanations about why this stage of relationship ends, and let's have a more detailed look at them.
1. Scientific Approach
There is a scientific approach, which is probably the most suitable for the vast majority of couples. The science explains the honeymoon phase by the feel-good hormones that your brain is producing while you are at the early stages of your relationship. These hormones make you feel happy and excited all the time. Your partner is the only thing on your mind, and your relationship is the only thing you really care for. You are trying to be the best for each other. You try to avoid saying anything unpleasant out of fear of hurting your partner. Then your brain starts producing less feel-good hormones, and you are back into caring for your everyday routines. See, it is not your fault that the honeymoon phase had ended. It's just hormones and science. You can do nothing about it, and that's why everybody is okay with this explanation. On the other hand, however, this explanation gives us a lot of innuendos... Are we our true selves during the honeymoon stage of a relationship? Can we be considered as intoxicated when in the honeymoon phase? Does that mean that we have no responsibility for our words and actions during this phase? Guess, you can see why a lot of couples end up their relationship after the honeymoon phase.
2. Individuality
Another explanation of the length of the honeymoon phase is the partners' individuality. We can regard the honeymoon phase as the development stage. Some like the development stage to be short, others prefer to stay in it as long as possible. It is a nice explanation, but once again, it leaves some uncomfortable questions. Again we wonder whether we are our true selves during the honeymoon phase. Also, regarding it as development stage, does it mean that we are too afraid of the pre-production and production stages of our relationship? And that's why we are afraid to take it any further?
3. Getting Comfortable
You know that in the first months of your relationship, you are still getting to know each other better. At the same time, you want your partner to think that you are the best. You are kinder than you usually are; you are more attentive than you usually are because you want to show your partner how much you care for him or her. Certainly, your partner does the same. The time passes, and you get used to each other, thus you are feeling more comfortable. Some people are pushing it too far, and by revealing their true selves completely destroy the image that was created during the honeymoon phase, which often leads to the inevitable end. Thus, the length of the honeymoon stage depends on how soon you will feel comfortable enough to start acting the way you generally used to.
Now you have three explanations why your honeymoon phase end. Pick the one that you like the best, but if none of them truly appeals to, mind that some things should remain unexplained. A lot of people feel quite comfortable falling in and out of love, without trying to find any logical explanation. Maybe the same attitude can be applied to the honeymoon phase of a relationship?
What Happens After the Honeymoon Phase?
So, after learning so much about the honeymoon phase you might wonder what comes after. Is it an inevitable end or is there another stage of your relationship? Let's find out.
1. An Inevitable End
Unfortunately, most of the couples fall apart after the honeymoon stage, and it is quite obvious. People feel the euphoria of love and they set very high expectations for their relationship. But when the honeymoon stage is over, they often feel frustrated, without a single idea why everything was fine before and now it may feel that you are suffocating in your romance. Let's put it this way, during your honeymoon phase your relationship may seem like some kind of a dream, but afterwards, it may feel like a burden. And if your relationship doesn't make you feel good any longer, while dragging this burden around? A lot of people feel disillusioned in their partner after the honeymoon phase is over, and view the relationship as a hurdle that prevents them from moving on and enjoying their lives. If you feel something like that, then the breakup is inevitable.
2. Your Relationship Gets Stronger
Not all relationships end when the honeymoon phase is over. If you felt that the dream called the honeymoon phase was quite good enough for you, you would try your best to recreate it. Of course, it won't be the same, but no one says that it can't be better. After the honeymoon stage, you need to start working on your relationship. Besides, you can see it as an opportunity. You can have more alone-time, as you no longer interested in spending each and every second with your partner. If you want to get that two-against-the-world-feeling back, you can go on a trip together. You can try making new friends together. Basically, you should do whatever it takes to prevent your relationship from being boring. That's how you survive the end of your honeymoon phase. But don't overdo it. If you both feel comfortable enough with the way the things are, probably you should leave them that way. And don't be afraid of arguing. Of course, you weren't arguing during your honeymoon stage, but you shouldn't avoid it. Instead, you can use your fights as means of getting to know each other better. Of course, you feel shocked, but it is okay for couples to have an argument from time to time.
Final Thoughts
Quite often people get discouraged by the fact that their honeymoon phase is over. The vast majority prefer viewing it as the end of love, but let's be honest, the honeymoon stage is closer to mutual infatuation, rather than love. Besides, relationships are not built solely on love. Relationships are built on love, understanding and mutual respect. And your romance is bound to end as soon as you honeymoon phase is over only if you fail to develop mutual respect. If you truly care for each, the end of that phase means nothing but the beginning of the new stage of your relationship. You are entering the new level, which should be based on maturity and comfort. So, discuss with your partner your future goals, think about the wedding, securing your old age, and having kids. There are a lot of other things except yourselves that you can explore in this world together.
Of course, if you are all about drama, then your relationship is bound to end with the honeymoon phase, and you need to grow up to make your romance last longer than a few months or a year.
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