I doubt that something can be worse than having a conversation with someone and getting half or even none of their attention. Nowadays, this problem is well known for many people who date single women. Moreover, even married couples encounter this problem. It is always painful when your partner prefers to check his or her phone over chatting with you. The situation when you try to have a conversation with your partner, but he or she just checks their phone, reads some articles, or checks social media is called phubbing.

Phubbing is very dangerous to relationships, especially when it happens regularly. In this case, partners begin to have unhealthy quarrels. The main reason for those quarrels is that phubbing is more than just an addiction to smartphones, social media, or messengers. It is about preferring to spend time on your phone over spending time with your significant other. No doubt that this can hurt your relationship and can make your partner search for new self-care practices. Generally, if you don't stop phubbing, you will lose your partner. You see, sooner or later, your connection will decay, and love will disappear.

phubbing meaning

What Does Phubbing Mean?

To begin with, it is crucial to know what is phubbing. So, here is our phubbing definition: it is when one person ignores the other one by preferring to make themselves busy with their phones instead of communicating with real people. Thus, in the majority of cases, the phubbing meaning is about a partner who is not open enough to have social interaction with the other one. Without a single doubt, phones and social media are very important aspects of our lives. But why phubbing poisons our lives? How can one person prefer to stare at the screen of his or her device over having a quality time with their partner?

Nowadays, it is not a secret that our phones are way more than just communication devices. They are real dopamine machines, and here is why. As you know, dopamine is a human hormone of happiness. The more you like something, the more dopamine your body produces, the happier you are. From this perspective, let's take a look at our phones. It is very hard to overestimate how many interesting and potentially pleasant things people can find in their phones. For example, you can play games, browse interesting pages in social media, or just watch videos with cats. All those things make you happy, and even a romantic partner can't make you happier.

You can make you feel happy in a short perspective, but things drastically change in the long run. You see, smartphones give you a phantom pleasure. In other words, it is a high density but low-quality pleasure. It is very easy to get it, but it never lasts too long. However, this all becomes a problem only when your love for your smartphone starts to slowly eat you love to your partner. You know that you need to act when you see that more and more often, and instead of having a quality time with your partner, you prefer to stay on your phone. Thus, phubbing is like a virus for your relationship because it kills your relationship very slowly, and you may not even notice that you have this problem until it is too late.

Phubbing Statistics and Disturbing Facts

At this point, we must be honest that we all sometimes have those moments when we prefer to watch this short video over listening to our partners. Some people even watch funny phubbing memes while their partners tell them about important issues. So, when it is too much? You see, it is obvious that ideally, we must never do this to our partners, but in the modern world, sometimes we simply can't stop. So, before learning how to stop phubbing around, it is crucial to understand when phubbing becomes a problem. Thus, here are some phubbing statistics and disturbing facts.

1. Disturbing numbers

More than 30 percent of couples have faced this problem when one partner prefers to spend time with his or her phone instead of communicating with their lovers. Approximately 50 percent of those couples end their relationships with breakups because they can't find a solution to this problem.

2. Phubbing decreases the quality of interactions

Phubbing in relationships lowers the quality of interactions between partners. Even if a phubbing partner has his or her phone visible or nearby during communication, this can significantly lower the quality of it. For this partner, it will be very hard to avoid giving small glances on their phones. Of course, this won't remain unnoticed.phubbing definition

3. Phubbing leads to more phubbing

The whole situation with phubbing in a relationship turns into the closed cycle with time when both partners ignore each other by staring at their phones. It goes without saying that in such a situation, both partners can forget about having a healthy relationship because it can't exist without proper communication.

4. Phubbing and smartphone addiction are two brothers

Of course, if your partner is phubbing you, it doesn't mean that he or she is addicted to their smartphone. However, phubbing and phone addiction are very close problems. The latest survey shows that smartphone addiction or nomophobia is the main reason why partners phub each other. Note: the second popular reason is boredom.

5. Phubbing affects brain activity

Scientists claim that smartphone addiction has a similar effect on the brain as a heroine. Of course, it is too early to compare these two addictions. After all, it is much easier to deal with a phone addiction than to quit heroin usage. But still, you must know that when you scroll down your social media page, it activates the same regions of your brain as if you used heroin.

6. You spend more time with your smartphone than with your partner

David and Roberts, in their latest research, claim that more than one-quarter of Americans never let their phone out of reach. Thus, those people spend more time with their smartphones than with their romantic partners. Furthermore, adults, every day, spend approximately 5 hours on their phones.

7. Phubbing kills romance

Here is another terrible fact from the survey conducted by David and Roberts: the last thing that the majority of the adult population sees before going to sleep is their smartphones. So, how can we possibly think of romance if the last thing that we do before going to sleep is to check the Twitter account or set an alarm clock?

8. Phubbing damages social skills

Interaction with other people is not always a very pleasant and effortless process. A person needs to pay effort and time to communicate with others and receive pleasure from this communication. In the meantime, smartphones give us pleasure without additional efforts. Unfortunately, they can't teach us to socialize with others. As a result, people lose their social skills and find it harder to adopt in society.

How Phubbing Can Affect Your Romantic Relationships

Recently, we have already mentioned that phubbing affects your communication in a relationship. It is clear that your relationship won't last long without good communication and the ability to solve problems. However, yet, we haven't discussed, "What does phubbing mean?" to your relationship. Of course, it is harmful, but some people manage to live with it, and in some cases, both partners phub each other from time to time, and this doesn't bother them. So, maybe the effect of phubbing on a relationship is very exaggerated, and there is nothing to fear? So, here we are going to share with you the top 3 main negative effects of phubbing on your relationship.

1. You don’t feel the connection between you

When you share something important with your partner, you expect him or her to give you some kind of response. Surely, this is not the case with a phubbing partner because they simply don't listen to what you say. You see, when your partner browses their social networks or texts during your conversation, this significantly lowers your level of satisfaction with your connection and relationship in general. The dissatisfaction level grows faster if this happens on a regular basis. So, the less connected to your partner you feel, the less effort you will contribute to your relationship.

2. Phubbing is dangerous to your mental health

The latest studies show that phubbing is dangerous to human fundamental mental needs. When your partner phubs you, you start to lose your self-esteem, begin to feel like you are losing control because you don't feel that your partner belongs to you and that your relationship is still meaningful for both of you. This situation potentially is very dangerous to your mental health. Also, this may lead to serious depression and a significant decrease in marital satisfaction. In the worst cases, people need professional help to raise their self-esteem and get through such a painful experience.

3. Phubbing leads to anger

When a romantic partner constantly prioritizes his or her phone over spending time with their partner, this may also lead to anger. You see, while phubbing makes some people doubt their self-esteem and blame themselves for not being interesting enough for their partners. Some people may feel anxiety or even anger when they see that they are less important for their partners than some social networks or videos. In this case, there is no way couples can have healthy quarrels because one partner doesn't understand why the other one blames him or her, while the phubbed partner can't get to the point due to anger and only insults a phubbing partner.

Ways to Stop Phubbing and Improve Your Communication

As you can see, according to phubbing statistics, any couple can face this problem. No matter how rich you are and how much you love each other, at some point in your life, you may find yourself prioritizing your phone over your partner. Or you may see that your partner tends to spend way too much time with his or her phone during your dates. So, is there a solution for phubbing, or you will have to simply get used to it to save your relationship? Don't worry because the worst enemy of phubbing is your and your partner's awareness of this problem. Plus, here, we are going to share with you some tips on how to stop phubbing.

1. Stay present and listen attentivelywhat is phubbing

You are terribly wrong if you think that you are capable of playing some games on your phone and attentively listen to your partner. Thus, to make sure that you are not phubbing your partner, you need to put your phone away whenever you have a conversation or other interactions with your partner. Thus, you will make sure that you are actively and attentively listen to him or her.

2. Create phone-free zones

No matter how long you have been together, and what status your couple has, the best way to avoid phubbing is to create phone-free zones. For example, it can be your bed. Thus, when you are in bed, none of you can use your phone. Another great example of a phone-free zone is when you have morning walk or coffee together.

3. Chose punishments for violating phone-free zones

If you both mutually agreed to have phone-free zones, then it is absolutely okay and even necessary to choose punishments for the case if one of you violates this zone. For example, a punished person has to go to a grocery to buy you something tasty or will have to wash the dishes or pay bills if you are in a restaurant.

4. Use silent mode

Even if your phones are deep in your pockets, those noisy notifications can ruin everything by triggering the compulsion to check your phones. This is especially true if you are both dependent on your phones. Thus, turn all notifications off and use silent mode when you spend quality time with your partner.

5. Share your emotions

As we have already said, your awareness is the best weapon against this problem. Consequently, if you feel that you are a victim of phubbing, you must immediately share your emotions with your partner. Your partner may simply not realize how his or her behavior makes you feel.

At first glance, phubbing doesn't look like a very big problem. Everyone can put aside their phones if their partners feel bad about not being a priority. Well, it is not that simple. Not without good reason specialists compare phone and drug addictions. Even though it is much easier to deal with the first one, your partner still will need your help. There is a huge amount of work in front of you because you will have to learn to be calmer and more tolerant of your partner, while he or she will have to learn how to live without checking their phone every five minutes.

Surely, phubbing is not just another popular word that people like to use. This is a real issue, and underestimating it may cost you a relationship. However, there is no reason to panic. If you and your partner truly love each other, then, via communication, you will deal with this addiction relatively fast. Remember, in healthy relationships, couples also have problems. The most important difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship is that, in the first case, partners work to resolve their problems.

Comments (0)
There are no comments. Be the first

Add Comment

Search Gallery