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A well-known phenomenon states that we love those who hurt us. This is true, but being in such a relationship makes you lose the most important thing - time. We don't have so much of it to throw it away right and left. It's time to think about what's important to you.

Toxic relationships can destroy your life to the ground. Earlier, we talked about how to know when to leave a toxic relationship, and today we'll talk about how to solve this problem. Try to start following the advice of psychologists on how to get out of toxic relationship and not get caught again.

How do you end a toxic relationship and why is it difficult to do so?

Let's look at some of the reasons why:

  • Falling in love makes you believe that your partner will change their behavior, that it is only temporary.
  • The person being manipulated has very low self-esteem and endures things they shouldn't because they are afraid no one will love them.
  • A toxic partner is a manipulator and uses the other's weaknesses to justify their behavior.
  • Fear of loneliness creates an emotional dependency that prevents the victim from taking the first steps to get out of an unhealthy situation.

You may be afraid of the other person's reaction, especially if they are violent.

How to end toxic relationship: psychologist tips

How to get rid of toxic relationships: tip #1

Try to follow your goals. Not the goals of your significant other, but your own. In fact, each person continues to develop and do their favorite things in a relationship or marriage. Your beliefs continue to live with you, no matter what position you are in - single or married. There is a wonderful phrase "if you have no convictions, you will be convinced of anything". A person's identity helps them avoid manipulation in relationships because they know what is best for them. In a toxic relationship, it often happens that a person does not know what to do, so they give all of themselves to the manipulator to guide them through life. Even if everything is done correctly, you still get the feeling that you are living your life in vain.

How to escape a toxic relationship: tip #2

Allow yourself to be yourself. This is a continuation of the previous point. In a toxic relationship, there is a victim and a manager. If you are a controlling person and a toxic person, you are probably not reading this article. If you are having problems because of the victim role, the most important thing you need to do to get rid of toxic love is to become yourself. To be yourself, you need to ask for help from small children. They are who they were born to be. They are pure and virginal. Two simple words work with them - "I want". When they need something, they say, "Mom, I want it," "Buy it for me," or "Give it to me." You need to become like children and start telling yourself what you want more often.

How to get out of a toxic abusive relationship: tip #3

Learn to say no. It is important to put the word "no" in a separate paragraph because it is very important. This word sets boundaries, which is very important. No manipulator, tyrant, or jealous person can overcome these boundaries at the very beginning of love. If you are already in such a destructive relationship, then you can already muster the courage to say no. Most likely, a toxic and narcissistic person will not accept this and will fire you. Toxic people hate it when you disagree with them. If you live in the role of a victim, then such a "shipwreck" will confuse your significant other. Threats, ultimatums, and aggression will follow. This will mean that you are on the right track. In a normal and healthy relationship, saying no is also very important, but the person will understand from the beginning where the boundaries are. Over time, you will find someone who will accept your boundaries, and respect them, but not force you to narrow them.

How to get out from toxic relationship: tip #4

Enlist support. Seeking help from family and friends is a basic and fundamental issue. They will help us overcome the fear, sadness, and confusion we feel at the end of a relationship.

It is our loved ones who we have to rely on to move forward. In addition, doing enjoyable and leisurely activities with them will help us to relax physically and mentally, as we will be engaged in other tasks during this time.

Sometimes, it is also necessary to seek the help of an outside professional to help us overcome these difficult moments. If you need it, don't hesitate to do so because it can help you achieve a satisfactory recovery.

How to finally let go of a toxic relationship: tip #5

Embrace this experience. Even if we consciously left a relationship and we also know that making that decision was the best thing we could have done, that doesn't stop you from feeling sad and grieving.

Sometimes there was a lot of time shared with the other person and a lot of hope and resources invested in making the relationship work. Therefore, feeling grief is completely normal and in order to overcome it, you need to accept it and move through it.

How to exit a toxic relationship: top question

How long does it take to get over a toxic relationship?

There is no specific time frame in which you can end this relationship. Everyone is different, so some people will need a little more time and some less.

How to leave a toxic relationship when you live together?

Realize that you will have to break up with this person. You may need time to find a new place to live and move your belongings. However, you will not be able to stay in the same room. 

How to end a toxic relationship with someone you love?

The emotions you go through when you experience a toxic breakup are much like breaking up a healthy relationship. You will feel conflicted, longing for love, relief, depression, and more.

It's especially difficult to break up with a toxic relationship if you relied on your ex financially, but don't despair.

Instead of thinking about why it will be difficult, focus on building the support system you'll need when you take the plunge. Research shows that having the support of friends and family during difficult times reduces psychological stress.

Having a support system in place will help you move forward.

How to move on after a toxic relationship?

It is better to do useful things that help to distract and establish mental balance: 

  • Try to understand that nothing in this world lasts forever, and let go of the person, knowing that there will be another one;
  • Finding a new, interesting, and favorite activity to immerse yourself in;
  • Work on getting rid of illusions and false beliefs that there can be no life outside of relationships;
  • Read books and watch movies that would motivate you to live, as well as tell you about people who have gone through divorce;

Love yourself. In general, it is not difficult to understand what needs to be done. It is difficult to start doing it and not quit. In this case, you may need the support of friends or even professionals.

How to stay strong when leaving a toxic relationship?

Know that you deserve better. Months or years of being told that you will never find anyone better than your spouse can put pressure on you, and you may even start to believe it. But it's not true.

Lowering your self-esteem and self-respect is what abusers do to keep their victims trapped in a relationship.

Make "I deserve better!" your daily mantra. Remind yourself of yourself every day.

You have tried your best to fix the relationship, but sometimes love is not enough and you need to move on for your own mental and physical well-being.

How to let go of toxic relationship: bottom line

In practice, ending such relationships is the most difficult thing to do, because the rapist is satisfied with everything, and the victim, living in this state for years, becomes incredibly attached to both the man and the emotional swings that occur in their relationship. One day he humiliated her, and the next day he showered her with flowers and promises that it was the last time.

To end such a relationship, you cannot do without outside support: it can be family, friends, or a psychologist. After all, it is very important for a woman whose self-esteem is destroyed to have someone who will support her and tell her that she is doing everything right.

If there is no such support from loved ones, it should be sought in a psychologist's office, in group therapy, or perhaps it is worth changing the circle of friends and finding those who can help and support her.

Another important step for a woman is to realize that she is not to blame for what is happening and to stop justifying violence. It is important to understand and accept the fact that you cannot fix something in your partner. You can't behave in a way that makes him or her not angry, because it's not about you at all.

And the most important thing is to make a decision for yourself that the greatest value in your life is yourself, not someone else.

Remember that if you don't take the first steps to get out of a toxic relationship, you will miss the opportunity to find the path to happiness.

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