When you meet the woman of your dreams and date her for a long time, you must face the fact of meeting her parents soon. Almost every man hates it or at least avoids this meeting for as long as possible. It may be compared to an obnoxious medical examination, or a job interview, or a presentation of your graduation project. However, we have to remember that everything has to end and there’s nothing to be afraid of. We have to put some extra effort to get profit, and in this case, your profit is happiness shared with your significant one.
So, how not to screw up in a company of your potential future in-laws?
How to Fight the Awkwardness when Meeting Girl's Parents
Meeting her parents is like a regular date: you both are nervous, you try to be yourself, maintain the conversation, and do your best to please your partner. It works with parents the same way; however, this situation is much more demanding and official. Therefore, you may face some awkwardness during the meeting, and you may not be the only reason for that. Let’s figure out some curious cases.
Find out more information about parents before meeting
The silence and lack of topics to discuss are the most common problems on such occasions. The reason is the cultural gap between different generations. The elders are hardly interested in video games, internet bloggers, street fashion, and other things that younger people are obsessed with. Well, there may be some exceptions, but it is better not to risk. Ask your girlfriend more about her parents: where did they come from, what is their profession, for how long they have been together, and what do they love. Don’t forget to figure out whether they are religious or not. You will get a more accurate picture of the persons you are going to meet, which will help you control the situation.
And of course, ask about some funny moments of girlfriend’s childhood. It is better to hear them from her at first than to get an awkward surprise right during the dinner. Say to her, “I’m ready to hear some interesting legends about you, like fighting with boys at school, saying the first silly words or potty-training”. You both should be ready for that; our parents love to discuss our childhood.
Train your tolerance and sense of humor
If you want to meet her parents, you should know that sometimes the elders behave in a very strange way. They can deliberately challenge you and provoke your anger or rudeness. Sounds weird, but some moms and dads (mostly, the latter) are incredibly meticulous when it comes the time to meet their potential son-in-law. Be ready for this and invent a plan to get out of an unpleasant situation. In any case, be patient and calm, in addition, you can easily find a way out using humor.
By the way, sometimes parents get very weird, talk nonsense or even offensive things without any thoughts they do something wrong. For example, you may be knocked out with the phrases like, “Hey, he is not as horrible as I imagined” or “You haven’t had sex yet, have you?” There is nothing to worry about, just treat it like a joke. Mostly, such words are jokes indeed.
Prepare some topics to discuss about yourself
Be ready to be in the spotlight all the evening (or day). You are that man who stole the heart of their beloved daughter, so 99% of all questions will be addressed to you. The most common questions are your family and relatives, school and college days, career, hobbies, and lifestyle. Distinguish the most significant and positive facts from your biography, but don’t brag. Do not mention something you are not asked, demonstrate the interest in her family. Modesty is a valuable trait, which is especially useful when you meet her parents.
Rules to Remember when Meeting Her Parents
Now you already know all the details to pay attention to before meeting your girlfriend's parents. Now it is time to go over the significant do’s and don’ts.
1. Dress sharp and work on your appearance
Remember that meeting her parents is very similar to a date? So, what is the best way to make a good first impression? Right, dressing the best clothes you have. What to wear when meeting her parents? Of course, you should know about the type of occasion in advance to choose the right look. It can be a family dinner with homemade food at their house. Then it is better to dress something classic, but not too formal: a shirt and trousers or your best jeans are suitable for this type of meeting. If you are invited to a restaurant, dress according to its status. Another common way to spend the meeting is going to the parents’ country house for a weekend. It is not the best idea if you are a very busy man, but still… Prepare a couple of sets of good looking and neat casual clothes. It should be comfortable, but not a sportswear. And please, don’t promenade half-naked around the house after staying overnight!
Of course, we have to mention hygiene one more time. You have to look perfect: iron your clothes, wash your hair, trim your beard (if you wear it) to make it more neat or get rid of a reckless stubble beard. However, if you look like Ryan Gosling or Jake Gyllenhaal with it, then you may have it. Anyway, look after your appearance very carefully.
2. Prepare some pleasant gift
Going empty-handed to your girlfriend’s parents is a mauveton. By giving a present you demonstrate your concern and attention. People love when someone cares about them, especially if that someone is a potential son-in-law. So, what are the best ideas for gifts for parents? They should not be too expensive and too cheap. In the first case, you will boast about your income, and in the second – demonstrate the lack of concern. A nice idea is something useful for home like a decoration or a book for a family library. Don’t bring anything for cooking like household appliances or tableware, you will only demonstrate a girlfriend’s mother she is not good enough at housekeeping.
Another excellent idea is bringing something sophisticated for dinner. If they drink alcohol, a bottle of good wine or other decent beverage would be nice. In addition to this, present them some delicious cheese, chocolates, or exquisite snacks. Of course, don’t forget about flowers for her mother.
3. Show your good manners
When you meet the parents, you have to be polite and courteous. Respectful behavior never goes out of fashion, especially when you communicate with older persons. Offer your hand to shake confidently when you first meet them and generally give a friendly greeting. During the whole meeting, maintain the eye contact and smile. Use only good language and do not interrupt when one of them is talking. But don’t try to look too serious – in the worst case, your speeches may sound abstruse. Also, offer your help to parents: serve the table, bring some furniture, and pour drinks during a meal (by the way, don’t drink too much). Moreover, if you are invited to stay overnight and they have more rooms than just for you and your girlfriend, it would be very polite to offer sleeping in separate rooms. Be ready they might agree…
4. Treat their daughter right
Some men think that when they meet the parents they should concern only about mother and father. However, they tend to forget about a respectful behavior to their daughter. Of course, you may not be too rude to your girlfriend, but the every smallest detail matters. It is important to show you love her using simple but gentle gestures: giving hand, pulling back her chair, offering help, and saying words of gratitude. Thus, your future in-laws will see you are a decent man. Believe me, a good behavior towards your girlfriend is the most significant sign you deserve to be with her.
5. Master your art of conversation
It is not enough to be polite and bring some flowers when it’s time to meet the parents. Conversation is the key to every person’s heart. We’ve already discussed the importance of preparing questions and answers about yourself, but this topic may be not the only one to talk about. A regular conversation may concern anything usual: a daily routine, the parents’ job, hobbies, favorite dishes, music, arts, etc. Your task is to maintain an entertaining dialogue, to show that you are open, honest, and versatile person. Therefore, don’t hesitate and supplement the talk with your own examples and opinions. However, be careful with some controversial topics like politics and religion. If somehow these issues have been mentioned and you see that there’s no way to hide, express your point of view very tactically, be polite, patient, and honest, do not argue and try to avoid the open conflicts. When it comes to this, it is better to let the person speak out and not to interfere.
6. Do not show excessive displays of affection
Meeting parents is not an appropriate occasion for touching each other and making out. They clearly understand you love each other and what you do when staying alone, so don’t remind them about your crazy feelings. There are much better ways to demonstrate you love for their daughter and we’ve discussed them in paragraph 4. You may hold her hand and slightly embrace her shoulders sometimes but avoid passionate kisses and putting hands on her back and butts.
7. Be grateful and pay compliments
This tip is incredibly important no matter where you meet her parents: at your house, at their residence, or somewhere on a neutral territory. Demonstrate this meeting is pleasant and entertaining; express your warm thanks for an interesting conversation. If they invite you, compliment her mother on a perfect meal; if you enjoyed the design of a house, then say it. When it is time to leave, express the gratitude one more time and say goodbye in the most appropriate manner. Don’t be afraid to express these feelings. Remember that her parents also do their best to make you love them and they need your polite feedback.
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