03.09.2018

The relationship is already in the past, but the ex-spouse has a different opinion. She believes that if you have lived together for several years or if you have common children, she has the right to enter your new life. Such situations are often encountered and this is not surprising, as it is very difficult for women to say goodbye to old habits. Many former wives believe that everything can be turned back and they do not want to understand that the last train has already gone. So, how to deal with an ex wife who won’t let go?

bitter ex wife

What should I do?

Even if you have common children, this does not mean that your ex-wife can crawl into your new life. She must comply with the rules and conditions that you agreed on the day you divorced. But she finds an excuse to call or come back to visit again and again. As a result – arguments and problems with a new girlfriend or wife come up. Alas, such situations are not uncommon.

How to deal with a narcissistic ex wife? A question that is relevant to many men. It happens that an ex-wife pursues her ex-husband for several years, even if a man has a new family already. But she keeps hoping and thinks that someday you will return to her. There are several options on how to deal with such situations. If regular measures do not help, you will have to use "heavy artillery" as a means how to deal with a manipulative ex wife:

Straight talk. Enough of this, agree with your ex-wife about a meeting. We advise to meet not at home, alone, but in a cafe or restaurant. So you prevent a possible tantrum or scandal. Tell her that your life together ended and you have new acquaintances, interests. You are ready to take part in the education of common children, but nothing more. She should not cherish her hopes and wait for you. This is a good starting point on how to handle ex wife drama.

Do not be nervous. Most likely, she wants to take you out, provoke a scandal. Do not react to her provocation and stay calm. So, she will understand that she has no influence on you.

Agree on terms. If you do not have common children, present an ultimatum - she should no longer call you and come to see you. If there are common children, make up a schedule, which will clearly indicate the hours and days that you will spend with a child. Just get it straight: you are going to spend this time with a child, not with her. It’s about you and your child, not about how to deal with an angry ex wife.

Above we’ve listed the sparing ways to solve the problem and get rid of the constant attention of the ex-spouse. If these options did not work, then it's time to act more decisively. If conversations and explanations did not help, after a few days she again starts looking for an occasion to meet and often calls you, it's time to take decisive actions:

Ignore. Just don’t pick up the phone when she calls you. Even better, put her number on the blacklist, most mobile operators have such a service. If she comes to your house, do not open the door and keep ignoring her.

ex wife dramaContact the police for assistance. How to deal with a difficult ex wife that stalks you or your family members? If the stalking is accompanied by threats, you must contact the police without any hesitation. You do not even know what an angry and offended woman is capable of!

Moving. If everything is very bad and the conflict does not resolve even after turning to the law enforcement agencies, you should move. Do not give the new address to common friends and relatives. Where exactly to move - to another street, to another district, city or even country - is up to you.

The best way how to deal with a bitter ex wife is to ignore her. Believe me, most women gradually cool and calm down if they understand that a man is cold. Do not give in to provocation and live a full life!

How to patch things up or even start anew?

Now, hear me out… We will also talk about how to patch thigs up with a former wife, either to just stay friends, or perhaps reunite with her. Don’t throw this opportunity out of the window straight away, human relationships are a hard thing to get a firm grasp of. I came here to find out how to deal with ex wife drama, so here it is. Be smart about it, maybe your ex is still worth it.

First of all, we must pay attention to the correctly constructed communication. As a rule, guys who turn to us for help complain that the girls are fleeing from them, and there is no talk of any communication. Anyway, a man who’s been dumped, more often than not, does not really know what to tell his ex-wife.

Most often, many of them believe that as soon as such a chance appears, it is necessary to inform the ex-girlfriend that their parting is one big mistake. And the more arguments in favor of reunion they find, the faster the girl understands everything and says: "Well, of course, how did I immediately not understand everything!"

And the first rule here is not to impose on her this communication. Both of you, and especially her, need a pause, which sometimes proves to have a magical effect. If you had a relationship, then you disappeared from her field of vision, she begins to yearn after a while. And so, you can not interfere with it - forget about crying calls and messages with confessions in boundless grief and love.

This behavior can cause only one feeling on her part - pity. As a rule, she ignores your "I just want to talk", and when she gets bored with such one-sided communication, she adds your number to the blacklist. Now is not the time of Shakespeare, and if you do not know how to establish communication with an ex-girlfriend, believe that the serenades under the windows and the poems in the SMS do not usually do it. Your words are unlikely to hit her to the heart, unless, of course, you are a great poet.

And now let’s talk about what is necessary to do. A pause in the relationship is given to you, so you have an opportunity to change. Exhibit on social networks everything new that happens in your life. However, even here you need to know the measure, otherwise ,a huge number of publications will seem to somebody else as hysterics or staging, and the proper effect will not follow. What photos can I attach? From loud parties, from business events, where you look successful, and from traveling trips. If after that your status in her eyes does not change, then your active life will surely interest her. After all, in her opinion, you must fight in hysterics because she left, but you do not.

How to start communicating with an ex wife

The first call should be purely friendly, it's good to find a reason for it, for example, to congratulate her mother on her birthday. No ascertainment of the relationship and even a hint of it, just ask: "How are you?". But purely formally. You should accidentally tell her briefly about your successes. The conversation should not be long, and even very short, you only need to interest her with the events of your life. And it is best to mention only the most interesting event. Thus, you throw a hook for further communication.

The second and third calls can be longer in time, but even if you feel that the former girlfriend is interested in communication - she herself develops topics and generally supports the conversation in every possible way. After that, you can think about the first meeting after the separation. In fact, the first meeting is a stage even more important than the first telephone conversation. This will require not only a clear adherence to a pre-designed plan but also a considerable excerpt from your side. First of all, forget about flowers and expensive restaurants.

how to deal with ex wifeFirst meeting

Since she has already transferred you to the category of friends, communication should be started accordingly. That is why expensive gifts and even flowers will be perceived inadequately or simply will not give any effect. In addition, in any case, don’t hug, kiss, take her hand - all of this is prohibited.

As for the tactile initiative, it should always develop in parallel with your relationship. Therefore, if you slow down a little with this, it will affect her slightly, and maybe she will even show this initiative herself, for example, accidentally touching your hand. And on the second date she can already try to reduce the distance between you, but here you also need to hold on until the end of the meeting.

In the event of a successful outcome of the events, after the third date, you do not even exclude sex, which means the complete success of the entire operation. However, you should not relax. In fact, there is still a lot of work ahead, because you have to build new relationships and better not on old grievances and mistakes.

A bit of psychology in communicating with an ex

In general, feelings for an ex-wife is a very dangerous and insidious thing. Remember how during your arguments you yourself wanted to part with her and find yourself a new girlfriend. But now she's gone, and everything has turned upside down, you're ready to fight for her, kneel and completely change your life. Perhaps you should just forget it.

Think: is it worth it that you think about it so much? If so, then before you do something, you need to understand the reasons for the gap. In general, if she left, then there may be at least four of them. Although most guys think that their relationship is unique, to understand the original reasons is almost impossible:

  • the balance of importance is broken - you just showed your feelings to her more often and lost your original importance;
  • she lost her interest in you because you have changed a lot since your first meeting, started working more, joking and spending time with her less, she just became bored with you;
  • you did not live up to her expectations - did not offer to live together, marry or have children, or anything else. Or worse, you’ve promised everything but did not do anything. She just stopped trusting you;
  • unfulfilled needs of your partner. You think that you are doing everything for her, but she thinks quite the opposite. In fact, what she needs is what you do not know, you have sex in the first place, and she thinks about communication, joint pastime, wants to be cared for and so on. And almost always, things you want from each other - do not coincide.

In this article, we’ve answered such questions: how to deal with ex wife problems, how to deal with a controlling ex wife, and how to maybe try to patch things up. The psychology of communication with an ex is a very delicate thing, it isn’t just about how to deal with a jealous ex wife. So, you have to dig into yourself and into your relationship, analyze what went wrong. After all, to return to your ex by throwing dust into her eyes is easy, but for how long will this last?

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