Dating a person currently in the depressive state of mind can be really hard. No denying, it is extremely painful to watch your beloved partner, a person you care about being in a darkened mood all the time and not knowing how you can help out in this situation. It can also be confusing to listen to the person you are fond of and value beyond all bounds talk about herself with excessive anger and irritation. Your girl’s deceitful but strong persuasion that she has achieved nothing or that she has almost nothing to keep living for can leave you feeling frightened to death, yet quite helpless, and in wonders how to respond. Those black-and-white mood patterns often illustrate the depressed way of thinking. Depression talks with a loud and pretty convincing voice that can easily dominate the minds of individuals who fall under it. There is little room for reasonable grounds, which makes it hard enough for another partner to know how they can be helpful. But before we take a look at the ways of dealing with this problem, first of all, let’s define the signs of depression in women.
Signs of depression in your partner: how to recognize the problem in advance
So what are the signs of depression your significant other is suffering from? Traditionally, there are 5 warning signs of depression that will be absolutely useful for you to determine if your loved one is undergoing or just developing depression:
1. Loss of interest in habitual things and overall apathy
Your loving girl is likely to gravitate only to those activities that can be enjoyed easily and require the minimal amount of efforts, such as playing video-games, staring at the TV screen or surfing the Net for no distinct purpose. This may quite readily lead you to thoughts or affirmations such as “You got plenty of time and visible interest for surfing the Internet, but absolutely no desire when it comes to spending some quality time with me”. Entertaining with another person as well as sharing that person’s wishes and needs require a lot more effort than just hanging on the Web and therefore may be an early but clear sign of depression.
2. Bad sleep
This very one may come in the form of serious trouble dozing off or frequently waking up throughout the night or the early hours in the morning. Oftentimes you can find your beloved partner in the bathroom, trying to enclose herself and spend the time on her own. This may disturb your own sleep and might look like some sort of abandonment, making you jump to the conclusion like “Not only isn’t she there with me during the day, but also at night”. Once again, it’s essential not to take the symptoms of her depression personally, but realize it for what it really is.
3. Frequent mood swings
People undergoing the depression may often have fickle emotions. A previously normal laid back person can suddenly go grumpy or capricious. Mood swings are a widely spread indicator your lover is depressed. A person can be easier to become annoyed and grow hostile when in depression. For instance, she might snap at you for getting home a few minutes later from a social event even if you’d bothered to notify her.
A depressed individual can be very short–tempered and high-strung. For example, your girl may become frustrated pretty quickly after you have explained her why you can’t stay at home for one more day. If this takes place just once or twice, she may just be having a tough day. However, if this pattern tends to continue for a while, though, it may be a symptom of depression.
4. Major changes in appetite
People who are in pain from depression may usually be overeating to muffle up the stress. At the same time, some of them might also not have a healthy appetite and, eventually, eat below the norm. If your romantic partner is overeating, you might have noticed her loading up more often and consuming larger portions. For instance, your subtle lady can suddenly order a full-size business lunch three times a day. In case, if she is seriously under-eating, she may stably skip meals. You might spot, for example, a depressed girl refusing to eat her lunch.
5. Looking for death
Depression is more often than not connected directly with suicide. People who decide to end up their life by committing suicide usually show the basic symptoms of depression first. Often these people will mention their intentions in passing or make a first attempt in ending their life.
How to help someone who is depressed: should we call the doctor?
In order to learn how to help a depressed person, always be telling your girlfriend how much you care about her even when she’s going through her worst days. Constantly be curious about what she is feeling, dreaming of and most importantly - doing. It can be as simple as giving her a hug or holding her hand. Do not say you already know that. When we demonstrate this kind of care, we share our partner’s suffering.
If you’re wondering how to help a depressed girlfriend, you will need to learn to be totally comfortable with all the discomfort of the problem and not trying to fix it all by yourself. As we were saying, you can’t help your girl deal with depression on your own. Thus, try to bring your sweetheart to see a psychiatrist or family therapist to cope with the issue. Some additional counseling and medication may be required.
Modern depression treatments are mostly very successful, with a report claiming that almost 75% of patients looking for treatment fully recover. That’s why an answer to how to help someone depressed is to tell this person you’ll be there for her as she gets all the needed treatment measures. The key element is to always stay positive and do your best to direct your woman for some professional help. Once your partner starts expressing appreciation for your support, you will feel much better about your relationship.
Dating someone who is depressed: 5 things to consider
1. Seek for the balance
In modern relationships, we have to continually take pains to figure out whether we must satisfy the needs of our loving partners, our own needs, or perhaps the needs of the couple in general. At the moment we succeed to balance this well, we will feel finally sigh with relief.
Still, when dating a depressed person, it is really easy to lose that fragile sense of balance as we always want to help our beloved person feel better. We place their needs above our own and completely forget about ourselves. This appears absolutely necessary for a certain period of life. But when our partner has a mental disorder that doesn’t go away for a while, we have to learn to take care of ourselves and still be supportive of our loved ones. Otherwise, the partnership can be put under threat. When you’re ignoring your needs, they never go away - they always grow only bigger over time.
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If you set your own wishes and demands aside while dating a depressed girl and guard only her ones, you will finally end up feeling offended and morally injured. To begin establishing more balance in your life, you’re ought to admit you’ve got needs too and some of those must be actually contented. Start noticing how much you’re sacrificing to meet your woman’s needs instead of your own. Take your time and think when it might be all right to place your demands first, and take advised measures to inspire more balance in your romantic relations.
2. Concentrate on positive things
When things are getting rough, it is vital to remind yourself of all the reasons why you care about your partner, rather than concentrating solely on how your girl is doing when she doesn’t feel well. Dating a depressed woman means focusing on her positive attributes which is the major way to support your relationship.
3. Talk to your partner
A traditional old-fashioned conversation can be of a great importance. If you suspect (or fully sure) she is undergoing depression, grant her the chance to talk the issue out. While some professional assistance may be needed, a simple talk can also do wonders. Dating someone who is depressed demands great support of the person in pain. Carefully address any of the symptoms that worry you. For instance, “You look very tired these days. Don’t you want to share the point of your concerns to let me help you out?” The main thing about dating while depressed is to be always there to help.
4. Be compassionate
People, especially women, dealing with depression need constant stable support. Keep your girl aware of the fact you’re willing to help her track her schedule and suggest some other means of creating an easier life for her while she’s fighting that horrible feeling. Bear in mind, though, you can’t solve a girl’s problems in full measure. While you can provide love, care and support, it is still quite necessary for the depressed partner to ask for professional help.
5. Know the limits
Sometimes, there is a limit line to what you can do. Maybe your girl refuses to undergo a course of medical treatment or maybe she wants to face her inner demons without anybody’s help before she can return to normal life. At the very least, the recovery can sometimes last from months to years and it may be hard for both of you to go ahead with the relationship through that. Be honest with yourself and with your loving partner and if the time comes to part ways, be okay about that.
Remember: nobody is perfect, so sometimes the person you want to spend a life with happens to have some problems. You’ll never be able to fully cure your partner’s depression, unless you are not ready to embrace certain changes in your character and world view. There’s a good chance it will be difficult to resist arguing about how your partner views herself and her life. But when she’s in her dark times, she is unable to see things from your perspective.
Trying to show your woman how wrong she may be and that she’s actually an incredible personality origins from your love and how much your desire to help. It can be sad when it turns out to be a complete waste of your time and energy when your girl’s depressive state actually leads to distancing both of you from each other.
In addition, do not forget that if you aspire to have a healthy, committed relationship, both you and your partner need to work on things. You both need to learn how to be supportive as well as how to receive support and to meet each other’s needs as well your own needs.
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