Many are familiar with the feeling when it seems that everyone lives a better life than you do. They endlessly go to exhibitions, visit the gym, walk a lot and, of course, they have the best relationships visiting single women sites. Besides, half of the friends left the job and moved to warmer countries. We think that everyone has the brightest life ever. In fact, this is not so, and most likely, such a life is presented from one side. But still, we envy. This is perhaps one of the most terrible and destructive feelings that people are capable of experiencing.
If you find yourself experiencing anxiety, have a sense of your worthlessness, and you start claiming with the phrase, “everyone but me,” then it’s probably that you are really missing something. Maybe you have a fear of missing out syndrome. So, how to deal with FOMO?
What Is the Fear of Missing Out and How Does It Develop in a Person?
Let’s start with FOMO meaning. Fear of missing out is an obsessive state. This is the fear of missing something important, missing a good opportunity, fear of wasting time and living a dull and boring life. This phenomenon is associated with the emergence of social networks, where the life of everyone is visible. Achievements and discoveries, travels, and so on – all this causes a desire to keep abreast of all events, communicate, and receive “likes.”
You always want to know all the details of lives of friends and acquaintances, be in touch, check you smartphones for new messages to be able to answer on time, surf social media feeds. This happens not only in your free time but also during working hours, while driving, during meetings with friends, and when exploring places to meet girls. If there is no means of communication at hand, the person experiences strong anxiety and a feeling that he/she is missing something.
In general, the desire to be in touch and receive information is common for a person. However, it may develop into an addiction. Either a person lives a boring life, not saturated with events, and tries to make up for them in social networks or he/she seeks online support, instead of which he/she receives only disappointment. And perhaps since this person is so anxious that he/she doesn’t have time to enjoy visiting interesting places and events, they don’t value own experience and impressions.
FOMO and Romantic Relationships
In psychology, FOMO is a certain reaction of a person to events related to the environment. Most often, this is an inadequate reaction since all people can’t be the same. In the life of everyone, pleasant and unpleasant events occur regardless of our desire. The person with this syndrome is focused on the successful moments of those around him or her, thereby developing the feeling of own inferiority and failure. Learning to control this feeling is simply necessary as it poisons life and doesn’t allow you to breathe deeply. People will not be happy until they eradicate it to the end.
As for FOMO relationships, there is a thirst for control of each other. The desire for control doesn’t allow you to enjoy the fullness and richness of life with another person who is different mentally and physically. It is normal when there is a desire to achieve what a partner already has. But a problem arises if people, assessing their chances, understand that this goal is unattainable for them. Non-constructive envy arises, which doesn’t stimulate to move forward. There is a constant sense of inferiority, a man or a woman either criticizes themselves or they criticize each other if one of them succeeds. In this case, relationships are negative. One of the partners can hardly hide his or her feelings since he/she thinks it is unfair. Communication with each other is no longer the same as it was before. There are complaints, omissions, and slander.
Signs You Are Dealing with FOMO in Relationships
So, fear of missing out relationships is a very destructive and negative feeling. We all know about this, but nobody can completely get rid of it. Many of us try to hide this fact, and often it turns out very successfully. But, anyway, there are 6 signs by which you can easily determine that you are dealing with FOMO in relationships.
1. Insincere compliments
People with FOMO syndrome like to give compliments and praise. Excessive eulogies often cover up envy, and obsessive flattery is a manifestation of hidden aggression. It is not surprising if, behind your back, your partner says nasty things about you. So, pay attention to how often and sincere your partner gives compliments to you.
2. Understatement of success
Also, the opposite behavior can be characteristic of FOMO in relationships: partners try to debunk and downplay each other’s achievements. Usually, this looks like a manifestation of caution, “Wait a bit, it is too early to rejoice. What if… I wouldn’t be so calm if I were you..,.” “Well, let’s see what comes of it.” They limit your joy and instill insecurity because they envy.
3. Bad tips
People with a fear of missing out phobia like to advise. But their advice is hardly aimed at helping you. Rather the opposite: they try to prevent or harm. Don’t listen to advice unless you have asked for it. Listen to yourself, your goals, your motives, and your condition. And advise those who are obsessively offering help take care of their life and their problems.
4. Joy of failure
These people will simply fly on the wings, like from their first love, when they witness the defeat of the one to whom they feel this feeling. Don’t worry. No one is safe from mistakes. Skills and concentration can return you to former results, and a person with FOMO syndrome will remain where he/she was. The very experience of negative feelings gives them a certain pleasure.
5. Comparison with other couples
They are always so unsure of themselves that they constantly compare themselves with others. Moreover, this is manifested in absolutely everything – from professional and personal successes to the level of income, the ability to travel and buy new things. If the comparison is not in their favor, then envy “eats” the person from the inside and completely controls his/her mind and emotions.
6. Pointing out the shortcomings
They are just masters to hurt people and seemingly accidentally point out their weaknesses and shortcomings. They can devalue any success, belittle your dignity, and even ridicule the achievements and heights you have taken. All this is done because of a single motive – they are simply driven by envy, and they are not able to control this emotion.
How to Get Over FOMO
So, the problem begins where the stimulating effect of FOMO develops into a destructive one. Then, personality orientation is lost. If you feel lasting anxiety looking at successful and happy people and their relationships, then, in this case, you need to tell yourself stop.
1. Don’t take it to the heart
So, how to get rid of FOMO? The most important thing that everyone should remember: they show you only what they want to show. Behind a beautiful picture, absolutely any problems can be hidden, and what a person publishes on social networks doesn’t exactly reflect their life 100%. Recently, more attention has been paid to this moment: some demonstrate how real life differs from Instagram pictures, someone uploads completely ordinary photos, which were nevertheless taken during the depression.
2. Don’t try to do everything
It is also necessary to understand the fact that it is impossible to try everything: get to know all people, visit all the bars and exhibitions, start different types of relationships, and so on. Your emotional and financial resources are exhaustible, and you shouldn’t try everything at once: whatever one may say, you have to make a choice. And definitely, you shouldn’t worry about it.
3. Try to let go of the situation
Perhaps everything really could be different, but you made your choice because it was comfortable for you. So, how to get over FOMO? The surest way to be content with your life is to choose what you like and enjoy among the million possibilities of this world. Focus on what you have. Write down all your successes and advantages – all that you have and what someone could envy.
4. Have a clear system of ideas about your life
It includes values, meanings, priorities, goals. We envy what is significant to us, but it is not ours. Dealing with FOMO while dating, refocus your attention, direct your energy not toward the envy and curse but the goal. Make the object of envy your goal and go to it. In fact, this is good envy, a kind of motivation.
5. Think about your behavior
Why do you need it? Just because everyone has it? This is not good. The desired item should benefit you and positively influence the development (physical, mental, emotional, personal). If you answer this question, it often turns out that it is not so needed. Two reliable friends and a faithful soulmate are important. And if you look closely, it turns out that you have already had everything to be happy.
Although phobia of missing out has not yet been included in the list of diseases, its effect still makes us feel not quite comfortable. It is useful to arrange a “digital vacation” for yourself: turn off the phone from time to time, delete unnecessary applications, don’t communicate with those who make you envy. Relaxation helps: listen to pleasant music, take a bath or meditate. Nevertheless, each case is individual: if the above methods don’t help and the anxiety doesn’t disappear, then you should consult a specialist.
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